America’s Silliest Enrollments

Today, for a change of pace, we’ll talk about some of the funniest things that happen on Customer Service Calls.

He’ll Call Back When He’s Older:

Amy: Hi, I am having trouble enrolling.

Rep. Tom: No problem – oh, wait, I see that you aren’t authorized on the account. Is Billy home?

Amy: Sure, he’s right here.

Rep Tom: Can you put him on the phone?

Amy: Uh, I guess…

Rep Tom: Hi Mr. Billy, I just need to confirm some information and get your permission to talk to Ms Amy about your account.

Billy: (gurgle)

Rep Tom: Excuse me?

Amy: (in background) He’s three weeks old!

In some cases, Baby is the only family member enrolling. No problem – until the account is created in the baby’s name. If no one else is authorized (an impossibility in Colorado – the system doesn’t allow authorizations during account creation) then Customer Service needs Baby to authorize Mom and Dad – or they literally cannot assist with the account. The work around is long and involved – but fortunately, it can be done.


So, What About Insurance?

Rep Lisa: (concluding a long call) …And there’s your plan in your enrollments. You can see it yourself online.

Mark: Um, yeah, I see it. Okay.

Rep Lisa: Is there anything else I can do for you today?

Mark: Um, yeah, how do I buy insurance?

The jargon can lose people – what makes perfect sense to the rep (you’re enrolled) is just gobbledy gook to the customer.


Yeah, but I need insurance!

Rep Kim: Okay, Mr Steve, we’ve completed your application and you were awarded Medicaid. You should receive your cards in a few days.

Steve: Okay, so now what?

Rep Kim: I’m sorry?

Steve: What’s next? Don’t I have to pick a plan?

Rep Kim: Well, you can – but you’d have to pay full price.

Steve: How much is that – never mind, I gotta have insurance.

Rep Kim: Sir, Medicaid IS insurance.


Rolling Back the Clock:

Mary: Hi, the Medicare office said call you guys. I lose my Medicare at the end of the month and need to enroll in a plan.

Rep Ted: Um, Medicare sent you to us?

Mary: Yes sir.

Rep Ted: How did you lose your Medicare, ma’am?

Mary: They said I’m not eligible anymore.

Rep Ted: Are you 65?

Mary: No, 25.

Rep Ted: Are you disabled?

Mary: No, actually I just got a new job that pays better.

Rep Ted: Ma’am, are you sure it was Medicare and not Medicaid?

Mary: Medicare.

Rep Ted: Ma’am, you probably had Medicaid – really.

Mary: No, I just make more money now. Medicare.

Rep Ted: Ma’am, to lose Medicare you’d have to stop being disabled or get younger…

This matters because an insurance company can deny coverage if they believe the QLCE isn’t valid. Losing Medicare is exceptionally rare – losing Medicaid happens all the time. Telling an insurance company that the customer lost Medicare will probably mean an inquiry – and the calls trying to avoid that can be pretty funny. Okay, only to us insurance geeks…


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